Cultivating Strong Girls by Nancy Evans

Author:Nancy Evans
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: ABC-CLIO

Five Truths That Girls Should Know about Friendship

Friendships are very important, but girls should approach them realistically. Movies and television can give girls distorted views about friendship. Rachel Simmons (2014) believes that there are several myths about female friendships—that you have to have a lifelong best friend, good friends never argue, and it is desirable to have more friends. When girls have authentic friendships where they are able to express their true feelings and do not avoid conflict, the relationships are happier and deeper. However, often when girls experience relationship difficulties, they blame themselves, blow things out of proportion, or hide the situation from their parents. Simmons feels that we should prepare girls for the realities of relationships by teaching them these five truths, which will help them accept and adapt to future friendship hitches:

Perfect friendships do not exist. It is unrealistic to believe that there will never be problems in a relationship. You must be able to express your feelings without being afraid that it will ruin the friendship. You must also be able to let go of minor things. Working through your difficulties will make you better and closer friends.

There will be times when you are left out or excluded. It may be intentional and mean, and it may be accidental or for another reason.

Your apology may be rejected. You may truly want to make things right, but the other person may not want to move on and you cannot force them. You are responsible for your own behavior, not that of the other person.

Friendships end. “Best friends forever” is a popular theme but it does not happen that often in reality. Sometimes things end, and it hurts, but it also means that there were probably big problems with the relationship. If one friendship ends, there will be room in your life for another.

Friendships do not stay the same all the time. At times, you may talk or see each other more or less or be closer or more distant. It does not mean that anything is wrong; the other person might be very busy or giving more time to other friendships. It is better to not personalize it and to give someone space and not be too demanding. It will give you time to work on other relationships.

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